just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
