Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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