Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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