i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
