Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
