Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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