he shaved USA in his pubs
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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