I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize