He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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