May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
