Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
