please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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