I wannas sexs uuuuu
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
