your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
