oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
