youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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