I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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