I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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