Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize