I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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