JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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