if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
