Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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