Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
