I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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