Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize