I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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