Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
