i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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