just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
