I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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