I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
