My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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