The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize