i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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