He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My feet surprised me
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