Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
