It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
