her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
