But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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