Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize