i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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