Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
