Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
