Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
