I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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