So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
