I just made out with a guy for $7.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
