he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
