Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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