what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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