just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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