White coat. Heels.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you traded sex for a burrito?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
