Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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