Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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