it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
