You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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