went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
