Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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