don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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