I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
please come you make the beer taste better
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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